The Unintentional Branding of a Widow

As my Aunt Christine said, you feel like you walk around with a big W tattooed on your forehead, where everyone can notice it.

I dont think that people do it intentionally, but you still do it. You look at us like were lepers. A big W tattoo on our foreheads makes us untouchable, yet you act so sympathetic too.

And I hate it. I hate hate hate it.

Do you know how irritating it is to hear "Im sorry", "How are you?" over and over and over and over, again and again? The sound or sight of those words are like nails on a chalkboard to me now. I dont want to hear them. Saying "Im sorry" is not going to make me feel better, its not going to bring Barry back for the kids and I, its not going to make dealing with life insurance people and hospital bills any easier. It doesnt do anything but annoy me now. And how do you think I am? I just LOST MY HUSBAND. Sorry I cant be Mrs Happy Go Lucky anymore, but Im a WIDOW and IM GRIEVING.

And while Im on the topic, why not say hello instead of just staring at me? Am I that untouchable that I seem contagious? Why not just carry a yard stick with you so you can just poke me when I come too close.

Not everyone has been this way, but I have noticed it. Its hurtful, and frustrating. And if you do know me personally, please, please, think of some other way to talk to me other than saying youre sorry, or asking how I am.

That is all.

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