Sabtu, 13 Februari 2016

Looking back over the last year, I am in awe. My life is completely different. I flip through pictures and cant even believe how much Ive changed.

One year ago, this was me. I was obese with high cholesterol, a BMI of 50 and a high chance of developing diabetes. Not only was I a wreck physically, but emotionally I was dealing with a lot. But I guess looking back, I wasnt "dealing" with anything. I had all of these wounds that I was trying to heal with food, and it wasnt working.

Family members would bring my weight up to me, tell me how I needed to eat better and exercise or I wouldnt be happy. And while I knew they all meant well by what they were saying, it felt like nagging. It felt like they were embarrassed of me.

But then, on one particular night I stared in the mirror, tears streaming down my face and I realized, it wasnt my family who were embarrassed by me. I was projecting my feelings on them. I was actually embarrassed of myself. I was embarrassed that I had let things go this far. I was embarrassed that I would do anything to avoid a flight of stairs. I was embarrassed that I couldnt deal with my life without food. Mostly, I was embarrassed that I thought I deserved to be unhappy because I was too scared to strive for anything else. In that moment five little words whirled around in my brain then tumbled off my tongue between sobs, "You deserve so much more."

When you have as much weight to lose as I did, starting can be overwhelming. However, I am blessed to work for a company that specializes in nutritional supplements. One of those supplements happens to be HCG Triumph. I didnt know much about the diet but Id heard all the controversy. I had seen people do the HCG diet then gain all the weight back. But as I learned more about it, and as I talked to customers who have been successful using HCG Triumph, I knew that not trying it would be a missed opportunity. HCG Triumph made the idea of losing weight less overwhelming.

Starting the HCG Diet was hard. Not only was I making major life adjustments, but I was getting rid of the one thing I could hide behind. And maybe those who have never been overweight wont understand that, so let me explain. Being overweight was the reason I sucked at dating. Being overweight was the reason I didnt have a lot of friends. Being overweight was my excuse for everything that wasnt peachy in my life. So to get rid of it? I was going to have to face the fact that fat or not fat, I may still suck at some of the things I sucked at before. Scary.

Then there was the fear of failure. What if I started the diet and failed? I could hear the girls I went to high school with just saying, "Poor girl, we knew she couldnt stick to it."

But those five little words kept coming back pinching me, "You deserve so much more."

I did four rounds. I cycled through Phases 1, 2, and 3 of the HCG Diet four times over 293 days. I dieted through birthdays, holidays, breakups and funerals. I had some extremely good days and some extremely bad days. In total I lost 100 pounds and have been maintaining that weight loss for about 3 months.

I wish I could say it was the good days that taught me the most, but thats not how life works, right?

I learned incredibly valuable things about myself on the days when I was the only one in the office not eating a catered lunch, or when I would stay in on Friday nights just so I wouldnt be around friends when they hit up Betos at 2 a.m.. And the most life changing lessons were learned when I was on the brink of giving up but pushed through all of the pressure, all of the hurt, and all of the frustration.

The HCG Diet has taught me a lot of things, like how to measure food, count calories, keep a food journal, but most of all the HCG Diet has taught me who I am.

-I am strong.
-I can do anything if I am willing to put forth the effort.
-I am capable of dealing with life without using food as an emotional crutch.
- I am competitive
-I am beautiful regardless of what the scale says.
-I deserve so much more than Ive let myself believe.

Looking ahead I can only imagine what challenges and achievements the next year will bring. I plan on maintaining my weight loss and I am focusing on developing long term healthy habits.I try to eat clean, and I am falling in love with running.

To all the people who read my posts, who share my story and who send me emails, I truly thank you. Youre the ones that keep me going on the hard days.

And if youre out there reading this thinking that I am somehow an exception and you could never do what Ive done, youre wrong. You can do it. Remember, you deserve so much more.

Where do you want to be one year from now?

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