While a lot of the times we associate feeling confident with looking a certain way, confidence is a way of thinking. Confidence is believing in yourself, and when you believe in yourself (corny as it may sound) you are unstoppable.
So... how do you just start feeling confident? Well, the first step is to stop doing things that are killing your confidence, the next step is to bit by bit work your way up to doing things that will help you to start believing in yourself.
Here, let me walk you through it.
Counter Your Confidence Killers
Negative Self Talk - Positive AffirmationsThe biggest confidence killer, is negative self talk. Negative self talk is basically the act of putting yourself down. Negative self talk is a hard habit to break. Some people dont even realize they are doing it. For example saying things like, "My thighs are way too big for these shorts," or "Im so dumb sometimes." A lot of the times these things are said sarcastically, or in passing. However, even those sarcastic, little comments like that can do real damage to your confidence. When youre thinking or feeling something negative about yourself, save it. Instead of saying something negative. Think something positive. "Im going to rock my skinny jeans today," or "Im going to do so much better next time!" Start trying to think encouraging thoughts when you encounter situations that are less than ideal. Start rooting for yourself. Have an interview? "I have all the skills this position requires an if I do my best, things will be OK." Dont dwell on your insecurities, focus on your capabilities. Even if they are small. And start recognizing yourself for those things.
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Negative Friends - Happy People
Dont waste your time with people who dont help build you up. If you have a bitchy friend who is constantly making snide remarks regarding your clothes or your hair, its time to drop her and stick to the people who love you for you.
Tabloids & Ads - Body Positive Media
If youre consumed by tabloids, looking for the latest trends to try and boost your confidence, you might be doing more harm than good. Constantly looking to the media to tell you whats popular, whos hot and what to buy arent going to help you love yourself more. Dont feel your mind with airbrushed photos and unrealistic body ideals. Stick to body positive media like this campaign from Panteine Pro V that tells women its OK to be strong and dominant.
Mirrors - Skip the Mirror
Every day, I used to spend 20-30 minutes in the mirror trying on outfit after outfit. I didnt like the way one dress hugged this roll too tightly, or the way certain pants were too loose in the butt. It was a constant battle between me and my reflection. Then I moved. And when I moved, my full length mirror broke...And I didnt bother replacing it. I cant even begin to describe how free its been to know that I can put something on because Ive been wanting to wear it, and leave the house without reconsidering a million times. You can feel just as confident wearing something because you like the color and you want to wear it, as when you like the way something looks on you. :) Ditch the mirror for a day and pick out an outfit that makes you feel beautiful.
Comparisons - Self Reflection
Comparison is the thief of joy. When we compare ourselves to others, we overlook our own unique talents, quirks, and blessings to lust after the life of another. What a waste. Youre an individual, so act like it. Stop comparing yourself to others in an effort to be something youre not. Instead, try reflecting who you are and who you want to be. Instead of losing weight to look like someone else, try starting a healthy habit thats important to you because you.
Unrealistic Expectations of Yourself - Positive Goals
At the end of the day, you are human. You make mistakes. You cant expect yourself to be perfect. You can however, set realistic goals that are positive. How do you know if your goal is positive? If the thought of it makes you smile and gives you butterflies, thats a good start. If you propels you to be a nicer, happier person, thats also a good start. When you stumble, when you fail, recognize that its all part of the journey. Each day wake up and set a goal that you can accomplish that day. Maybe its exercising. Maybe its smiling at 10 strangers. Set positive goals for yourself. Even if they are small, achieving a goal you set is incredibly gratifying and its great boost for your confidence.
What are some things that make you feel confident?
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