The Single Ladys Definitive Guide to Surviving Valentines Day on a Diet

Hey single ladies! Countdown to V Day... The stores are dawned with heart shaped boxes, fluffy teddy bears, and roses...and youre single. Ughhh....

I know what youre thinking, "Its just another day, Ill be fine. Im amazing, and I LOVE single life." Thats all probably true, especially the part about you being amazing... but lets be real, Valentines Day sucks when youre single. And if youre trying to diet on Valentines day WHILE being single...Lord have mercy. Maybe you have incredibly strong will power, and if thats case then this blog isnt for you. This blog is for the single ladies with a chocolate addiction and enough bad breakups to inspire a season of Gilmore Girls.

 Ive spent 21 of my 22 years of life as a single person on this holiday, and while Im all for empowering women, not needing a significant other to be happy, and learning to enjoy life as a single adult, every Valentines day, since the age of 17, made me want to stuff my face with all the tiny, mysterious, assorted chocolates in the world. Its the one day I feel like I can justify wallowing in self pity and single-ness.

Back at my heaviest weight of 285, I remember being so excited for Valentines Day to be over  because that meant all those Valentines Day cakes and candies were going on clearance the next day. Cheapest binge of the year. Then I started my weight loss journey; my Valentines ritual of overeating was no longer an option. I had to learn how to survive Singles Awareness Day without smothering my emotions in food.

As a "Single on Valentines Day Dieting Veteran," here are my tips for sticking with your diet:

Stay Busy

The best way to cope with Valentines Day is staying so busy you dont have time to notice all the cutesy PDA of couples out and about on the dates. Stay home and start a Pinterest project, open up an new book to read, take a bubble bath, give yourself a mani, pedi, or immerse yourself in work. Be so incredibly productive that you dont have time to think about being single, or wanting junk food.

Hello Fresh Fruit

Today, fresh fruit is your date. Cut up strawberries, cover them in Trulicious stevia and eat them all through the day. It will taste indulgent, but you wont need to feel guilty for enjoying this treat. If you get to the point where you are feeling like you need to eat more sweets, choose fruit (its better to have fruit, even if its not on your diet paln, than chocolate). Raspberries and bananas also taste incredible topped with stevia. 

Avoid the Sappy Movies & Love Songs, Maybe Even Facebook

As much as you want to listen to Drake and Lana Del Rey as you help yourself to a double chocolate sheet cake, dont. Dont listen to anything that is going to make you feel bad about being single. Avoid Sleepless in Seattle, avoid How Harry Met Sally because these movies are just going to make you feel all weird inside. Watch that documentary on the fast food industry that youve been seeing on Netflix. Oh and Facebook.... yeah, avoid that too. It will be littered with, "omg. best. boyfriend ever. thanks for the flowers boo. #Love #VDay #BooThang #LoveHim #Roses #Spoiled #TrueLove #SuckItSingleGirlReadingThis."  

Hit the Gym

Crushing a tough workout is the ultimate feeling of empowerment. Even better than that, you dont even have to change out of your sweat pants to do it. Throw on some Nikes, hit the treadmill and run until you feel like the hottest girl in the gym. If youre on Phase 2 of the HCG Diet, you can still do this, just remember that you may need to have an extra serving of protein before and after your workout. 

Dont be too Hard on Yourself

Do your best to stick to your healthy goals, but if you slip up, its not the end of the world. Get back on track. Whatever happens, youre not a failure. You really are amazing, and while it may be hard to believe on a day like Valentines Day, you dont need anyone else to make you happy. If love is meant to be youll find it when you are meant to. Who knows, maybe the person who will be your future soul mate is also sitting home alone thinking about when theyll finally meet you. 

Steer Clear of the Candy Aisle

This one is pretty straight forward. If an alcoholic steps into a bar while upset, its a relapse waiting to happen, just like if you hit up the bakery on your diet, youre bound to leave with a fresh cannoli. If youre committed to sticking to your diet this Valentines Day, dont go near junk food. A chocolate-less Valentines Day doesnt seem very festive, I realize, but youll feel much better about yourself the next day having stuck to your diet. 

Send Yourself Flowers

Super lame, right? Wrong. No one has to know you sent them to yourself. For all they know you have a
secret admirer. Plus, even when you buy them yourself, they still make you smile when they show up at the door. :)

Girl, youve got this. Its just another day and youll be too busy working out, painting your nails and eating deliciously sweet strawberries to even think twice about being single. 

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DAY 14 2016 WEIGHT LOSS AND BLOOD GLUCOSE CHALLENGE

Christmas Eve 2015

Today is Day 14.

Weight goal - 151.4 or lower
Actual weight - 148.6

Blood glucose goal - 89 or lower
Actual blood glucose - 89

Today is a Feast Day!



For me, that means a ketogenic diet - high fat, moderate protein and very low carb.  Each day, I will weigh in, check my fasting blood glucose, find out if I will feast or fast that day, update my chart and post it here on the big blog. Im posting it to motivate myself not to give up, and if I think that anyone is looking at this, it will help to keep me accountable.

Yesterday, I had eggs with onion and salami friend in coconut oil and butter with cream cheese for breakfast, guacamole made with avodaco, salsa and sour cream with pork rinds for lunch, and homemade chicken salad with real mayo, green olives and dill relish for dinner.  I also drank a couple of glasses of water and a couple of glasses of water with lime juice and Stevia.

13 DAYS DOWN.  78 DAYS TO GO.  11 FEAST DAYS AND 3 FAST DAYS.

5.4 POUNDS GONE.  12.6 POUNDS TO GO.  30% OF THE WAY TO MY GOAL!

I made a few charts to track my progress.  The orange lines are my goals. The blue lines are my actual results.  The last chart is a little heat map to show at a glance how often I actually have had to fast to achieve the results I am after.

(click on charts to enlarge)

This is a personal challenge just for me, but if anyone reading would like to join me, please talk to your doctor and make sure that it will not conflict with your current medical condition or medications.  If you are taking the challenge, please be sure to let me know how you are doing!  Thanks for reading!

To find out more about this challenge - the rules and how it started - click here.

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THE VIRGIN DIET DAY 5

Yesterday, I completed Day 5 of The Virgin Diet.

MY SYMPTOMS

• Abdominal cramping - Yes, sometimes, even after just drinking water in the morning
• Acne - Yes
• Chronic mucus/stuffy nose - Yes, but improving
• Constipation and/or diarrhea - Yes, the latter, even sometimes right after eating  or drinking water
• Fatigue - Yes, especially in the afternoon
• Food cravings - No
• Gas and bloating - Not really
• Headaches - No
• High blood glucose - No (yesterday was 88 an hour and a half after eating dinner)
• Inability to lose weight - No - Did not weigh this morning, but lost 2.2 pounds in the first 4 days - Starting weight 147.8 - Current weight 145.6? - Goal weight 136 - To get back to goal, need to lose 9.6 more pounds.  Can still button "measurement shorts" with a slight "muffin top".
• Insomnia - No
• Joint pain - Yes, but greatly improved
• Muscle pain  - Yes, but improving
• Nausea - Yes, sometimes after eating or drinking water

WHAT I AM EATING

I normally eat like this:

135g fat (78%)
57g protein
28g carbs

Yesterday, I ate like this:

137g fat (67%)
91g protein
64g carbs

I had shakes for breakfast and lunch that were comprised of coconut milk, water, non-dairy protein powder, ground flax seed, raw greens, frozen berries and a few drops of Stevia.  I also had 2 tsp. of cod liver oil in the breakfast shake.

For dinner, I had a slow cooked chicken thigh, a serving of steamed broccoli with coconut oil and sea salt and 1.5 oz. almonds.

I ate breakfast at 7 am, lunch at 2 pm and dinner at 6:30 pm.  I did not feel like snacking after dinner.

I drank 72 oz. of water, but never within an hour before eating or an hour after eating, in order to not dilute my stomach acid.

OUT OF TOWN AND OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE

Currently, from Saturday through Monday, I am acting as caregiver to a terminally ill friend.  I left my house yesterday morning fully armed with all the ingredients for my shakes, including my blender and digital kitchen scale.  I also brought a bag of almonds, a jar of Bubbies sauerkraut and two avocados. I walked in with two grocery bags full of stuff, packed with ice packs, due to the 2.5 hour drive to get here.

One of the reasons I have gained weight in the past couple of months is because I have been coming here three days every other weekend.  While I have been here, I have had to eat what was served me, and often it contained carbs and lots of them.  I also was eating things that I had a choice about, like raisins and ice cream.  It is very stressful here, due to the seriousness of my friends illness, and I just did not feel right not eating what was offered me, and I was so stressed that I was craving carbs and giving in to those cravings.

Also, I felt that it was "small" of me to be thinking about my little weight problems when I was in the home of a dying person.  My problems seem small in comparison, and I was feeling selfish for caring about my weight.  But then, when I got home, I would start caring again, especially when I got on the scale and realized that I was gaining 2-3 pounds every other weekend and could not take it back off before it was time to come here again.  So I would come here the next time, resolving to do better, but then do badly again because my weight problem is not important in the face of my friends suffering.  It was a vicious circle of weight gain, guilt and grief.

But, this time, I brought stuff to make shakes for breakfast and lunch, and I cooked enough chicken thighs that I can just serve myself one of those for dinner each night along with whatever veggies I can scrounge up out of my friends freezer.  And as far as the off-limits carbs available here, I will just not eat them this time, which is easier to do when I know that if I ate them, I would ruin this experiment and also have to confess that fact to you!

Because I am here without my own bathroom scale, I will have to wait until Wednesday morning to weigh in.  I will be traveling on Tuesday morning, after breakfast, and I dont like to weigh unless it is first thing in the morning before eating.  Until then, I will just have to use my "measurement shorts" to track my progress while I am here.  Yes, I brought the shorts with me!

If you are interested in getting a short synopsis of how this plan works, you can listen to Jimmy Moore interviewing JJ Virgin by clicking here.

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THE VIRGIN DIET DAY 9

Yesterday, I completed Day 9 of The Virgin Diet.

MY SYMPTOMS

• Acne - No
• Chronic mucus/stuffy nose - Yes, but improving
• Constipation and/or diarrhea - Yes, but only right after my breakfast shake.  Hmmm...
• Fatigue - No
• Food cravings - No
• Gas and bloating - No
• Headaches - No
• High blood glucose - Almost 100 at the beginning of the day, but back below 90 by the end of the day, after decreasing protein and carbs and increasing fat.
• Inability to lose weight - No - Starting weight 147.8 - Current weight 145.8 - Goal weight 136 - To get back to goal, need to lose 9.8 more pounds.  Can still button "measurement shorts" with a slight "muffin top".  Lost 1 pound yesterday for a total of 2 pounds in 9 days.
• Insomnia - Yes - Woke up in the night one time and had trouble going back to sleep
• Joint pain - Yes, but somewhat improved
• Limp, lackluster hair - Yes
• Muscle pain  - Yes, but improving
• Nausea - No
• Swollen fingers - Yes - Having trouble getting my rings off in the morning

WHAT I AM EATING

I normally eat like this:

135g fat (78%)
57g protein
28g carbs

Yesterday, I ate like this:

146g fat (75%)
68g protein
42g carbs

I had a shake for breakfast that was comprised of coconut milk, water, non-dairy protein powder, ground flax seed, raw greens, frozen berries, a few drops of Stevia and 2 tsp. of cod liver oil.

I worked all day yesterday and skipped lunch.  For dinner, I had pan-crumbled-fried lean ground beef with coconut oil, seasoned with sea salt, garlic powder and onion powder, cabbage and onion pan fried in coconut oil and bacon grease with sea salt, half of a medium avocado and half of a small, raw carrot.

I ate breakfast at 7:30 am and dinner at 7 pm.

I drank 72 oz. of water, but never within an hour before eating or an hour after eating, in order to not dilute my stomach acid.

 GOING BACK TO HIGH FAT, MODERATE PROTEIN AND VERY LOW CARB

After breakfast yesterday, I decided to go back to the way I was eating before while still staying away from eggs, dairy, grains, peanuts, soy, corn and sugar, including artificial sweeteners.  I was a little over my goal food for the day, but I still lost one pound, and my blood sugar returned to the 80s by the end of the day, even two hours after eating dinner.  This morning, it was 82.

If you are interested in getting a short synopsis of how this plan works, you can listen to Jimmy Moore interviewing JJ Virgin by clicking here.

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DAY 19 2016 WEIGHT LOSS AND BLOOD GLUCOSE CHALLENGE

Christmas Eve 2015

Today is Day 19.

Weight goal - 150.4 or lower
Actual weight - 147.4

Blood glucose goal - 89 or lower
Actual blood glucose - 80

Today is a Feast Day!




For me, that means a ketogenic diet - high fat, moderate protein and very low carb. Each day, I will weigh in, check my fasting blood glucose, find out if I will feast or fast that day, update my chart and post it here on the big blog. Im posting it to motivate myself not to give up, and if I think that anyone is looking at this, it will help to keep me accountable.

Yesterday, I had a cup of coffee with Stevia, a cup of chai with Stevia, a cup of beef broth with sea salt and a large glass of limeade made with water, ReaLime juice and Stevia. 

I hit a new low for my weight, which is always nice!

18 DAYS DOWN.  73 DAYS TO GO.

15 FEAST DAYS AND 4 FAST DAYS.

6.6 POUNDS GONE.  11.4 POUNDS TO GO.  

37% OF THE WAY TO MY GOAL AFTER ONLY 21% OF THE DAYS!

I made a few charts to track my progress.  The orange lines are my goals. The blue lines are my actual results.  The last chart is a little heat map to show at a glance how often I actually have to fast to achieve the results I am after.

(click on charts to enlarge

This is a personal challenge just for me, but if anyone reading would like to join me, please talk to your doctor and make sure that it will not conflict with your current medical condition or medications.  If you are taking the challenge, please be sure to let me know how you are doing!  Thanks for reading!

To find out more about this challenge - the rules and how it started - click here.

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A Forgotten Milestone Day

Ive noticed that the last few days Ive been exceptionally cranky.

My attitude has been really crappy, Ive been snapping at the kids, I have a very short fuse. And Im just feeling under the weather.

But I couldnt put my finger on it, and today at MOPS a light bulb went off. I was talking to a friend there who asked how I was doing and I said I was OK, but it really comes and goes. I happened to glance down at my watch to check the time/date, and then it hit me.

December 15th. It was December 15th.

Exactly 10 years ago today I arrived in Germany to marry Barry. I left Edmonton, AB the night of the 14th, and arrived in Germany at 10:40 local time. And thus began the next 10 years of my life. We were married two weeks later.

Isnt it interesting how you forget days like this sometimes? And then it just hits you, and you realize that it affects you so much more than you realize. And the effects can last a few days even, as your body slowly recovers.

My appetite has been affected, as have been my moods. I was just exhausted this afternoon, and almost fell asleep on the couch. I had a headache as well, and a sore back.

Can I just sleep through till the middle of March so I can bypass all the sad days?

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Putting Up The Tree

Today I was finally coerced into setting up our Christmas tree.

You see, Ive been dragging my feet. a lot. I just havent wanted to bother with it at all this year, but for the kids, I did it.

So this cold Saturday afternoon, I hauled my ass out to the shed, and dug through the countless bins to find what Christmas decorations I could actually handle putting up this year. What came out with me was the HUGE tree box, and 3 bins of lights, ornaments, stockings and a few decor items. I just couldnt do anymore. I think I have another couple bins in there, but I did not want to bother putting them up this year. I decided to simplify.

We spent an entire afternoon putting up the tree and decorating. I was dreading putting up the tree. Absolutely dreading it. You see, I have NEVER put the tree up by myself. Not once. There has always been family there, or Barry when he was home to help with it.

November of 2001 was when we bought this tree. Weve had it for 8 years now! I remember walking through Wal Mart with Barry when the twins were just babies, and I said to him we should get a smaller tree. But No, he INSISTED we get the biggest and tallest tree we could, just so wed never have to buy another. So $80 later, we came home with this 7.5 foot tall, 5 feet wide at the base, monstrosity of a tree. And we still have it. And its not pre-lit. sigh. Putting the lights on is the most challenging thing. I could have done more, but I settled for only 3 strands this year. I just couldnt do more as I despise putting on the lights.

In 2002, when E was just brand new, my sister was visiting us, and we actually all put the tree up on Christmas Eve. That was the day that Barry interviewed for his 2nd to last job at McLane Northwest, which he was hired for. We didnt get home that night till really really late, so we all pitched in and did it late Christmas eve. That was also the day that V said the "f" word for the first time, LOL. Ahhh such memories of Xmas 2002!! 2003 Barry was home, and we did it all together. 2004, I dont remember much of that, but Im pretty sure my mom and sister were there (By then Barry was working for his "current" job, and was already over the road). 2005 we were at our first home, and my mom/sister and I did it together, same for 2006 when A was a baby. 2007 and 2008 were also subsequent years with my mom and sister, as we almost always did it Sinter Klaas weekend. Last year, 2008, my sister did most of it with me and she did a horrible, HORRIBLE, job. After her and my mom left, I actually took off ALL the decorations, all the lights, and re-fluffed the tree. Then I put everything back on, after buying more lights. I know she is reading this, and her and I had a good laugh about that tonight. She is a horrible tree fluffer, just horrible. I still love you though Mafido!

This was my very first year putting it together on my own without any help, and I was scared. Just because it was the first time doing it without anyone, and the tree is not always easy to put together. I was cursing myself because I couldnt figure out what went were, but half way through assembling it, I found the diagram that Barry drew for me last year. I breathed a sigh of relief as I found that piece of paper, and tucked it safely into an ornament box for using next year, silently thanking him for doing that.

Now our tree is up, it looks beautiful and is our usual mish-mash of balls, homemade ornaments, bought ornaments, and my extensive collection of Hallmark ornaments. It was a bit emotional putting up the tree, remembering all these ornaments I had bought over the year. Seeing the first ones I had made for this tree, ones I had made for Barry, the one he made for E when she was just a baby, and crying softly while putting some of them on. A new addition to our tree this year was one special ornament I bought for him in October after he passed. A special spot on the tree, front and center, was reserved just for this ornament:


On the back it says "The true testament of a life well-lived is the love we leave behind".

That certainly is true.


******someone asked me where I purchased this ornament. I got it at Hallmark*********

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I CAN Do It MYSELF

I know Ive been promising this post for awhile. I dont have time to write it, but Im making time.

Through ten years of marriage, I became quite dependant on Barry. He was always the one I relied on, we always discussed major decisions and I probably was a bit too dependent. I know that now, and I knew that then too, but oh well, it was me! That was me for the longest time, and now Ive had to forge a new me.

This new me has been FORCED to become independent. There is no one else to rely on but myself. And I hate it. I despise it. I abhor being the responsible one. I dislike having to make all the major decisions. I hate this aspect of widowhood with a passion. I have made so many decisions in the last almost 5 months that I have become overwhelmed.

To add insult to injury, many things have gone wrong too, which just adds to me having to do things on my own. Like with my van. In the last couple weeks, Ive had an alignment done, the door actuators fixed, an oil change, the tires rotated, and now replaced, brakes fixed, a radiator leak fixed, and the rear bumper replaced because someone hit me. Ive grown tired of seeing my friends at Midas. Today should be the last day, my tires are getting replaced as the tread on them is pretty low. But, the van has had those tires since before we bought it three years ago, so I suppose its time to do it anyway.

But you know, I CAN do it all by MYSELF. I dont like it, but I can and am doing it. Ive bought a house on my own too! Ive handled all the van repairs on my own. Ive filled out countless forms for life insurance and death certificates. I planned the funeral and wrote the obituary (with some help I might add) and even spoke at Barrys funeral by myself.

Ive also outfitted an entire house by myself. This house stuff though has been the most stressful I think. Just the simple act of purchasing furniture has had my head spinning in all different directions. On tuesday at the furniture store, I really started to shut down towards the end. I couldnt do it anymore. I was able to pick out furniture for my living room, my bedroom, and the great room. But I spent a good 4 hours in the Macys store! Thats all done though, finally. Wednesday afternoon I went to another store and picked out my book shelves and TV stand, and a clock. I could feel myself shutting down again though, so I decided enough was enough and left. Tomorrow the kids and I are going back there to pick out V and Es beds and dressers, and As dresser, and my computer desk. After that, we will head to Sleep Country to get mine and V and Es mattresses. I still have to get minor things like dishes and some decor items, but the major stuff is done...except for a Piano. That can wait. Today I even picked out all my blinds for the new house, by MYSELF. I didnt even have my Realtor help, haha. I made all the decisions with the vendor, by MYSELF. Can I share a secret though? if I could, I would have hired an interior decorator/design person to do it all for me.

I can pack an entire house by myself. I can move into a new house by myself. I can pick out furniture and bedding and all that by myself. I can handle van repairs by myself. I can de-clutter a house by myself. I can make all the important decisions, like the kids changing schools, and where A will go to pre-school by myself. I can decide that its not a good idea for us to go to DC/PA, but that it is a good idea for us to go to Disneyland, by myself. And I can go to a movie tonight by myself...first time for everything, right?

I have often found myself wondering what would Barry think of all this? Would he like the decisions Ive made, would he like what I have picked out? But then I have to remind myself that while I value his opinion, hes dead. Hes not here anymore, and I cant constantly base my decisions on what he would have done. Im alone now, and though hes with me in my heart, and in my mind, hes not here in person for me to rely on. I cant ask him what he thinks of this piece of furniture, or that one, or what bed to get the girls, what tires I should get on the van, Ive had to do it by myself. Its a bit freeing though, to be completely honest, knowing that I CAN pick and choose what I want and not worry if he would like it or not. I had all these ideas of what I wanted to buy for my new house, the colors and all that stuff too, and when I went to pick it out, I went completely opposite of what I had in mind. Its so different from what we would have picked out together, but I think thats good in a way. Most of our stuff is being replaced, but the one piece I am keeping in the house, which doesnt even match my new kitchen all that well, is the table and chairs we bought a year ago. He and M put it together, and while it doesnt match my cabinets, that doesnt matter...he put it together. His hands pieced it together with the help of our son, and it will stay in my kitchen as our family table for a very long time.

Barry would be proud of me, proud of all the decisions Ive made on my own. He would say "I knew you could do it Joanna, and I am so proud of you! I always told you you could do it on your own, you never needed me to make all the decisions".

Ill tell you though, I am amazed that I have done it all by myself. Ive wanted to crawl into a ball and rock myself sometimes due to all the stress, but I havent. I will keep on keepin on, and get through this. Things will settle down eventually, the stress will dissipate and I will continue to do things on my own. I will develop a stronger skin, I will become even more independent than I already am, and I will get through it.

One day at a time, I can do it by myself.

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LEAVING ZERO CARB THOUGHTS ON ALTERNATE DAY INTERMITTENT FASTING

GOODBYE TO ZERO CARB

I have been eating virtually zero carb for over six weeks now.  My blood sugar has normalized and I am firmly ketogenic, according to my blood tests, so I have decided to start very slowly adding back in some carbs from vegetables and other non-meat sources.  Why?  Because I miss vegetables and I want to eat them if I can without raising my blood sugar.  If eating a very small amount of vegetables still raises my blood sugar, I will have to back off again.  During this six weeks, I have come to realize that I am a "volume eater" and when you eat only meat and fat, you dont get to eat very much in the way of bulk.  I would like, if I can tolerate it, to eat a side of vegetables or a salad from time to time.  I am not going back to vegetables because I think I "need" fiber.  I dont think I need fiber, but I also dont think that the amount of fiber I will get in a small amount of vegetables is going to harm me in any way.

I know that this opinion is wrong, according to the Zero Carb Community, so sorry if I have offended anyone.  I still believe that a person can get all the nutrients they need from just meat and fat.  I just want to eat some veggies here and there, even though I know I dont "need" them, nutritionally speaking.  If there are people out there who eat just animal products and they are content with that and feel fulfilled eating that way, more power to them!  I have given it a good six weeks, and I dont think I will ever feel content eating this way.  I want to eat a fresh tomato.  I want to eat sauteed cabbage and onions in bacon grease.  And you cant stop me.

Some might say, "Yeah, well, I want to eat cake and ice cream, but I dont, because I know it is not healthy, and neither are vegetables!"  I agree with the first part, about eating sugar and grains, and legumes, for that matter, but I am not convinced that vegetables are unhealthy, if prepared the correct way.  For instance, after all I have learned during this past six weeks, I will not eat raw kale or broccoli again.  Cooked, yes.  Raw, no. 

Today I ate some pumpkin and I am having the much-yearned-for sauteed cabbage and onions for dinner tonight, and I feel happier already!

CHANGING UP THE ALTERNATE DAY INTERMITTENT FASTING

I also have been doing Alternate Day Intermittent Fasting (ADIF) for over three weeks, and I am going to keep that up.  I have not been enjoying it very much, although the body fat loss has been steady.  Here are my concerns:

1.  I am still ravenously hungry on the days that I fast (eating only 300 calories, so not a total fast), and I feel miserable about it. I dont know if I am going to be able to sustain this way of eating if it means that I have to starve every other day.

2.  On the days that I eat normally, I am trying not to track my food and just eat to satiety, but the more I try to do that, the more I am losing control and overeating. I have found that the only way I dont overeat is if I track every bite of food that enters my mouth. Day before yesterday, while not tracking, I found that I was thinking about food constantly and eating all the time. All I can think of is that I wont be able to eat the next day, so I am snacking all the time.

3.  Its not that Im not losing weight, because I am, but I dont know if it is worth the deprivation that I am experiencing.

4.  Before starting ADIF, I was doing plain old Nutritional Ketosis and very carefully tracking everything I ate, but eating around the same amount of food each day, which was usually around 1500 calories. I was losing weight doing that, too, and one of the reasons I wanted to do ADIF was because all the tracking was driving me crazy. As it turns out, I still have to track doing ADIF, or else I obsess about food all day and overeat.  The other reason why I wanted to do it was because eating a "normal" amount of food every day meant that I never got to eat what I felt like was enough to satisfy me.  Getting to eat more every other day makes it worth it having to eat less on the alternate day.

5.  The more I am doing ADIF, the more unnatural it is feeling. It just does not feel right to only really eat every other day. I guess some people have success eating that way and do not feel deprived and they feel it is very natural.  Not me.

6.  Some might say that if I am losing weight, what is the problem with eating all I want to on my non-fasting days. The thing is, though, that if I eat all I want, my blood sugar goes up, and that is what I am trying to avoid.  Besides, I dont like feeling out of control and eating obsessively.

7.  It is tough to basically not eat every other day when I am not the only person living in my house. My husband has been very patient, but I can tell that it is starting to wear on him that he is on his own for meals every other day.

As I go along with this way of eating, I think every day that I cant keep this up and I want to quit.  On the days that I eat a normal amount, I feel like I am eating too much and on the days that I fast, I want to eat more.

I put these questions to my fellow ADIF-ers at the Low Carb Friends forum, and I got a lot of good advice.

I have decided to keep on keeping on, but I am going to eat more on my fasting days and track my food on my non-fasting days, instead of trying to eat freely.  Here is my new plan, which will keep me in the ketogenic realm, and should help with my hunger on fasting days and with my overeating on non-fasting days:

Non-Fasting Day:
1850 calories
144.4g fat (70.2%)
105.6g protein (22.8%)
32g carbs (6.9%)   

Fasting Day:
463 calories
36.1g fat (70.2%)
26.4g protein (22.8%)
8g carbs (6.9%)

Averaging the two days together:
1156 calories
90.3g fat (70.2%)
66g protein (22.8%)
20g carbs (6.9%)

Of course, these are the exact numbers that my spreadsheet gives me, and I would not be obsessive about hitting those exact numbers on each day, but I would attempt to get close to them.

I would think that an average of 1156 calories per day of high fat, moderate protein, very low carb food would allow my body to access its fat stores.

Doing this, I am going to be trying to increase my carbs just a little bit and start eating some lower carb veggies and see if my blood sugar can handle it.  Also, I am counting total carbs, not net carbs, so even if I am getting 32 total carbs on my non-fasting day, it is really only a fraction of that number that will impact blood sugar.

So, anyway, that is my plan, and well see how it goes.  Thanks for reading!

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A River of Tears

In the last 4 months and 10 days I feel like I have cried enough to fill a river.

There have been different tears at different times, but they all come from grief.

Tears the first night, when I woke up at 5AM on October 11th, from pure grief and exhaustion. I woke myself up by crying in my sleep, just laying there in my bed, wrapped in Barrys t-shirt, my head on his pillow and sobbing to myself as I laid there.

Tears the first whole month because I just didnt know what to do.

Tears on October 21st when Kiro 7 came to interview me

I dont even remember if I cried at the hospital. I am sure I did, but my body was running on such adrenaline that I dont remember much. I remember yelling and screaming. I have used tissues that I kept to prove that I cried, but I dont remember crying.

Tears of sorrow last night as I started packing. Never did I know how emotional it would be. I picked up a box from the pile I got at Borders, taped up the bottom, and grabbed the first book from the shelf.

Instant tears.

I really did not know that the emotions would hit me as they did last night, but I could not stop crying as I filled that box up. Then the next, and the next, and the next. I packed five boxes last night crying the entire time. I am excited to move into our new house, but sad because we are leaving this home we had with Barry.

I cried as I found pictures of Barry as a child that I forgot I had. I cried as I looked through each one. Our son looks so much like his daddy, and I cried about that too.

I cried as I found a birthday card I had written him for his 26th birthday, and one he had written for me too, for what I am guessing was that same year.

Sobs of pure grief poured out of me. Tears even now roll down my cheeks as I write this post.

I think it might finally be hitting me. My tears seem different now. They are so much more full of sorrow than they were before. Is this what grief is? I thought I had experienced it all already. Perhaps not.

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Happy Birthday To me!!

Today I turn 31!

It feels a bit weird, but no different than any other year.  Ive gotten spoiled already by  the kids today,  with a box of my favorite Seattles Best Chocolates, a Joby Gorillapod SLR Zoom, and a Quantaray QSX Ultra 4STM Tripod/monopod.  I also bought myself a new camera backpack, remote and a few minor things.  All photography goodies :) And I couldnt be happier!!

As per usual, here is my birthday song:



Barry played that for me on my last birthday, and I wrote about it last year in remembrance of him. It was really weird to wake up with James this morning, as it is the first birthday with him.  The last birthday I had with anyone was with Barry, so it screwed with my head a bit.

Since we are leaving in just 2.5 days, I wont be posting here before, so look for some pictures and a blog post when we get back.  Now Im off to enjoy the rest of my birthday, and put together my camera backpack that just arrived by UPS.

Please think of us on the 25th, that is the day we are spreading Barrys ashes.

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THE VIRGIN DIET DAY 2

Yesterday, I completed Day 2 of The Virgin Diet.

• The arthritis pain in my right hand has diminished slightly, as has the pain in my left foot.
• I was not hungry until time  to eat, and even then, it was very mild.
• I had energy and did not feel sleepy in the middle of the day.
• My blood sugar was 85 an hour and a half after eating.
• I did not have a great day in the bathroom.  Lots of activity, but mostly very loose.
• I slept through the night.
• I went to bed at 10:00 last night and woke up to the alarm this morning at 4:15 feeling refreshed and ready to start my day, and I was not starving when I woke up.
• I lost 0.8 pounds yesterday for a total loss of 1.4 pounds in 2 days.  To get back to my goal weight, I need to lose 10.4 more pounds.

Starting weight - 147.8
Current weight - 146.4
Goal weight - 136

Every time I start something new, I usually take all my measurements and keep detailed charts of my progress.  This time, I am going to try to be a little less intense about it.  I will weigh in the morning, and not take my measurements.  What I will do to track my body size is this:  I found a size 10 pair of shorts in my closet that I have not worn in a while because they are old and worn out looking.  But they will make a great low-tech measuring tool.  Right now, I can get them on, but I cannot button them.  If all goes as planned, by the time I reach my goal, they should be able to be buttoned and also be a little loose.

I normally eat like this:

135g fat (78%)
57g protein
28g carbs

Yesterday, I ate like this:

129g fat (59%)
133g protein
69g carbs

I am a little concerned about the amount of protein I am eating, but I am losing weight, so I will try not to worry about it unless I stop losing weight.

I had shakes for breakfast and lunch that were comprised of coconut milk, water, non-dairy protein powder, ground flax seed, raw kale, frozen strawberries and a few drops of Stevia.  I am totally used to the taste and I look forward to my shakes.

For dinner, I had a grilled pork chop with sea salt and garlic powder, and roasted asparagus with sea salt and a little bit of coconut oil, and two slices of bacon.

Giving up butter has been hard.  I used to put butter on everything, and now I am at a loss for what kind of healthy fat to add to my meat and veggies.  I thought about bacon grease, but it turned out that my husband THREW IT AWAY when we moved to our new house last week.  I asked him what he was thinking.  He does not know.  Sheesh.  So I fried up a couple of slices of bacon, ate the bacon and saved the grease for meat and veggie toppings.

Yesterday, I ate breakfast at 7 am, lunch at 1:30 pm and dinner at 7 pm.  I did not feel like snacking after dinner.

I drank 72 oz. of water, but never within an hour before eating or an hour after eating, in order to not dilute my stomach acid.

If you are interested in getting a short synopsis of how this plan works, you can listen to Jimmy Moore interviewing JJ Virgin by clicking here.

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DAY 5 2016 WEIGHT LOSS AND BLOOD GLUCOSE CHALLENGE

Christmas Eve 2015

Today is Day 5.

Weight goal - 153.2 or lower
Actual weight - 150.8

Blood glucose goal - 89 or lower
Actual blood glucose -85

Today is a Feast Day.



For me, that means a ketogenic diet - high fat, moderate protein and very low carb.  Each day, I will weigh in, check my fasting blood glucose, find out if I will feast or fast that day, update my chart and post it here on the big blog. Im posting it to motivate myself not to give up, and if I think that anyone is looking at this, it will help to keep me accountable.

Yesterday, I had two cups of coffee with Stevia sweetener, one cup of beef broth with sea salt and a glass of water. I always think fasting is going to be harder than it turns out to be. I only really felt hunger one time in the mid-afternoon, and it passed quickly. It helps that I was working all day, so that kept my mind off of it.

4 DAYS DOWN.  87 DAYS TO GO.  SO FAR, 4 FEAST DAYS AND 1 FAST DAY.

I made a few charts to track my progress.  The orange lines are my goals for the next three months. The blue lines are my actual results.  The last chart is a little heat map to show at a glance how often I actually have to fast to achieve the results I am after.

(click charts to enlarge)

This is a personal challenge just for me, but if anyone reading would like to join me, please talk to your doctor and make sure that it will not conflict with your current medical condition or medications.  If you are taking the challenge, please be sure to let me know how you are doing!  Thanks for reading!

To find out more about this challenge - the rules and how it started - click here.

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DAY 15 2016 WEIGHT LOSS AND BLOOD GLUCOSE CHALLENGE

Christmas Eve 2015

Today is Day 15.

Weight goal - 151.2 or lower
Actual weight - 147.6

Blood glucose goal - 89 or lower
Actual blood glucose - 86

Today is a Feast Day!



For me, that means a ketogenic diet - high fat, moderate protein and very low carb.  Each day, I will weigh in, check my fasting blood glucose, find out if I will feast or fast that day, update my chart and post it here on the big blog. Im posting it to motivate myself not to give up, and if I think that anyone is looking at this, it will help to keep me accountable.

Yesterday, I had Bullet Proof Coffee with chocolate protein powder for breakfast, eggs fried in butter with cream cheese and sea salt for lunch, and roast chicken with butter sauce, Brussels sprouts with bacon grease and sea salt, and pork rinds with sour cream for dinner.  I also drank a couple of glasses of water.

14 DAYS DOWN.  77 DAYS TO GO.

12 FEAST DAYS AND 3 FAST DAYS.

6.4 POUNDS GONE.  11.6 POUNDS TO GO.  

36% OF THE WAY TO MY GOAL AFTER ONLY 16% OF THE DAYS!

I made a few charts to track my progress.  The orange lines are my goals. The blue lines are my actual results.  The last chart is a little heat map to show at a glance how often I actually have had to fast to achieve the results I am after.

(click on charts to enlarge)

This is a personal challenge just for me, but if anyone reading would like to join me, please talk to your doctor and make sure that it will not conflict with your current medical condition or medications.  If you are taking the challenge, please be sure to let me know how you are doing!  Thanks for reading!

To find out more about this challenge - the rules and how it started - click here.

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THE VIRGIN DIET DAY 3

Yesterday, I completed Day 3 of The Virgin Diet.

• The arthritis pain in my right hand has diminished greatly, as has the pain in my left foot.
• Due to poor planning, I ate breakfast at 5 am and then did not eat lunch until 2 pm.  I was starving.  I will plan better in the future.
• I lost energy and had to take a nap after eating lunch in the middle of the day.
• I did not check my blood glucose, but since I did nothing different, I assume it was good.
• I had a better day in the bathroom.  Almost normal.
• I went to bed at 10:00 last night, slept through the night and woke up to the alarm this morning at 4:30 feeling tired.  I was not starving when I woke up.
• I gained 0.6 pounds yesterday for a total loss of 0.8 pounds in 3 days.  To get back to my goal weight, I need to lose 11 more pounds.
• I could almost button my "measurement shorts" even though the scale said I gained weight.
• There is one symptom that I forgot to mention that I have, which JJ mentions in her book:  My hair has gotten thin and lifeless.  It just hangs there and looks bad.  I am hoping this will improve, as JJ says it should!

Starting weight - 147.8
Current weight - 147
Goal weight - 136

I normally eat like this:

135g fat (78%)
57g protein
28g carbs

Yesterday, I ate like this:

142g fat (65%)
96g protein
78g carbs

One of the requirements of this protocol is that you journal everything, including what you eat, what you felt like, how your symptoms are, how your elimination is, how your sleep is, etc.  So Im going to use this blog as a way to keep track.  If your find this helpful, great.  If you are totally bored by it and want to make a snarky comment, please keep it to yourself and just stop reading.  I say this due to some snarky comments I got the last time I was blogging.  Anyway, on to my journaling...

I had shakes for breakfast and lunch that were comprised of coconut milk, water, non-dairy protein powder, ground flax seed, raw kale, frozen berries and a few drops of Stevia.  At lunch time, I also had one once of almonds.

For dinner, I had a quarter of a large can of wild caught canned salmon, onion and morel mushrooms sauteed in coconut oil and sea salt and a small serving of Bubbies Sauerkraut.  I eat Bubbies because it is prepared using traditional methods, unlike the sauerkraut that you normally get at the store.  I am going to try to eat a little each day in an attempt at getting fermented foods into my regular diet.  I would love to try making my own, but Im a little intimidated.  Some day...

Yesterday, I broke down and bought a bottle of Carlson Norwegian Cod Liver Oil.  I will take 2 tsp. per day.  It has a slight lemon flavor and is not nasty to take.  Read about the benefits of cod liver oil here.

I ate breakfast at 5 am, lunch at 2 pm and dinner at 7 pm.  I did not feel like snacking after dinner.

I drank 72 oz. of water, but never within an hour before eating or an hour after eating, in order to not dilute my stomach acid.

Yesterday, I roasted a Pine Manor Farms organic chicken that I bought at Whole Foods Market.  I really need to find a source of chicken and eggs (hopefully) that have not been fed soy.  The chicken package said that it was fed an all-vegetable diet, non-GMO, etc., but it did NOT say that it was not fed soy.  I wrote to the company to find out and Im waiting to hear back from them.  Everywhere I look, the chickens are fed soy.  Ugh.

After the chicken is eaten, I will be making bone broth from the carcass, using this new method I found.  Ill let you know how it turns out.  Bone broth is very healing to the gut and I would like to arrange my life and habits to include always having homemade bone broth on hand to drink every day.  

If you are interested in getting a short synopsis of how this plan works, you can listen to Jimmy Moore interviewing JJ Virgin by clicking here.

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8 Valentines Day Gifts for the Fitness Fanatic you Fancy

Got a fitness junkie in your life, whom you love and want to spoil this Valentines Day, or are you the beloved fitness junkie (if so, pass this along to your lover for a subtle hint)?

Chocolates arent the best idea for the runner, the lifter, and the lover of clean eating... Here are some gift ideas that are so awesome they are better than chocolates, and dare I say roses?

The Aqua Zinger Flavored Water Maker

Aqua Zinger

Water is the center of a fitness junkies world. Adding mint, lemons, and raspberries adds a myriad of health benefits, but choking on seeds is never fun. This bottle mixes the juices in to the water but holds the pulp in a separate little grinder. They go for around $20 and you can find them at Brookstone.

Salad Dressing Portion Control Lids

As someone who is watching my weight, I am constantly counting calories. One of my biggest pet peeves is measuring out every little thing. Im all for gadgets that make measuring easier, and this is one of them. This Portion Control Lid fits different bottle sizes and when you squeeze the bottle, the chamber fills with 2 Tbsps of the dressing, one serving size, and its ready to pour. This handy gadget is about $20 at Brookstone.

Gnarly Workout Tank

Gnarly Workout Tanks

Every Fit Female needs an awesome workout Tank. Gnarly Nutrition has a great line of neon acid worn tank tops. They have multiple colors and sizes range from small to large. You can find them at GoGnarly.com for only $19.

Food Huggers

Fitness addicts need fuel. Fresh fruits and veggies are usually a major part of a healthy, balanced, diet but a lot of times they go to waste because the left overs dont keep well. The frugal fitness geek will LOVE this Food Huggers. Cut a tomato, use whats need, then put a Food Hugger around the rest. It stays fresher than using a Ziplock bag! A set of four multi-sized Food Huggers is only $19!

Zip Tunes Earphones

Food Huggers

Tangled earphones can mess up momentum on runs, bike rides, kickboxing and more. Zip Tunes Earphones get rid of the hastle with a tangle free design, plus they have a built in handsfree microphone component. Find these on Boxwave.com for under $30.00.

Isobag Lunch Cooler

If your fitty is constantly packing lunches and planning ahead for meals on the go, this Isobag is a perfect way to help them stay organized. This lunch cooler can hold multiple meals (containers included) and has compartments for protein shaker bottles and utensils. No more packing multiple bags for multiple meals, this cooler lets you easily do it all in one. The three meal bag is only $54.99 on IsolatorFitness.com. 

FT4 Cross Training Heart Rate Monitor

FT4 Heart Rate Monitor

The price tag on this item is a little steeper than the others, but it is definitely worth it. The FT4 tracks heart rate, calories burned and shows when youre improving your fitness based on heart rate zones. It has button free operation to keep the focus on working out, and is made with comfortable, water resistant material. There are four different colors available. You can find this nifty gadget for $99 on Polar.com.

Bodum Tea For One Tea Strainer

Sometimes your valentine doesnt have time to make tea for two, and if thats the case, this Bodum Tea Strainer is perfect. Its strains a single serving of tea in a very portable container. It comes in multiple colors and is available for $18 at Bodum.com.

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THE VIRGIN DIET DAY 1

Yesterday, I completed Day 1 of The Virgin Diet.  It went well for the following reasons:

• I enjoyed the shakes I had for breakfast and lunch.  It was nice not to worry about what to eat for a change!
• I was not starving all day like I have been lately, even though I have been eating high fat.
• I had energy and did not feel sleepy in the middle of the day like I have been lately.
• My blood sugar was 84 an hour and a half after eating.
• I had normal elimination for a change.
• I slept through the night for a change.
• I woke up this morning at 6:30 feeling refreshed and ready to start my day, and I was not starving when I woke up.  Lately, I have been so hungry that I would feel real hunger pangs even in the middle of the night. 
• I lost 0.6 pounds yesterday.  To get back to my goal weight, I need to lose 11.8 more pounds.

I normally eat like this:

135g fat (78%)
57g protein
28g carbs

But yesterday, I ate like this:

114g fat (57%)
102g protein
89g carbs

I had a shake for breakfast and lunch that was comprised of coconut milk, water, non-dairy protein powder, ground flax seed, raw kale, frozen blueberries and a few drops of Stevia.  All that made around 16 fluid oz. of shake and it took more than a few minutes to drink it!  The first one I made was tolerable, but the next one I found easy to drink and somewhat tasty.

JJs plan is that you eat three meals per day.  The first one needs to be within one hour after rising, and the other two need to be 4-6 hours apart, with no snacks.  The last meal of the day should be no closer to bedtime than 2-3 hours.  Yesterday, I ate breakfast at 8 am, lunch at 2 pm and dinner at 7 pm.  For a change, I also did not feel like snacking after dinner.

Part of this process is making sure that you have good digestion by not diluting your stomach acid at meal times so that you can properly digest your food.  An hour before eating, I drink 16 oz. of water, then nothing while I am eating, then wait for an hour after eating to drink another 8 oz.  I like this better than trying to remember to drink water all day.

All in all, not a bad start.  In a few days, I will be traveling out of town to take care of a sick friend for the weekend, and I am a little concerned that I will need to be doing this while I am there.  But journaling here always helps to keep me on track, so I think I will do okay.

If you are interested in getting a short synopsis of how this plan works, you can listen to Jimmy Moore interviewing JJ Virgin by clicking here.

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DAY 3 2016 WEIGHT LOSS AND BLOOD GLUCOSE CHALLENGE

Christmas Eve 2015

Today is Day 3.

Weight goal - 153.6
Actual weight - 152.8

Blood glucose goal - 89 or lower
Actual blood glucose -100

Today is a Feast Day.



For me, that means a ketogenic diet - high fat, moderate protein and very low carb. Each day, I will weigh in, check my fasting blood glucose, find out if I will feast or fast that day, update my chart and post it here on the big blog. Im posting it to motivate myself not to give up, and if I think that anyone is looking at this, it will help to keep me accountable.

(Note:  I didnt add in the requirement for lower blood sugar for the first few days, so that is why it seems that I broke the rules.)

2 DAYS DOWN.  89 DAYS TO GO.  SO FAR, 3 FEAST DAYS AND 0 FAST DAYS.

I made a few charts to track my progress.  The orange lines are my goals for the next three months. The blue lines are my actual results.  The last chart is a little heat map to show at a glance how often I actually have to fast to achieve the results I am after.

(click charts to enlarge)

 

This is a personal challenge just for me, but if anyone reading would like to join me, please talk to your doctor and make sure that it will not conflict with your current medical condition or medications.  If you are taking the challenge, please be sure to let me know how you are doing!  Thanks for reading!

To find out more about this challenge - the rules and how it started - click here.

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DAY 9 2016 WEIGHT LOSS AND BLOOD GLUCOSE CHALLENGE

Today is Day 9.

Weight goal - 152.4 or lower
Actual weight - 148.6

Blood glucose goal - 89 or lower
Actual blood glucose - 68

Today is a Feast Day!


For me, that means a ketogenic diet - high fat, moderate protein and very low carb.  Each day, I will weigh in, check my fasting blood glucose, find out if I will feast or fast that day, update my chart and post it here on the big blog. Im posting it to motivate myself not to give up, and if I think that anyone is looking at this, it will help to keep me accountable.

Yesterday, I had water, beef broth with sea salt, coffee with Stevia and chai with Stevia.  I did not have fun fasting!  I was a little depressed all day and kept wishing I could eat, even though I was not really hungry.  Starting in late afternoon, I just felt like going to bed.

8 DAYS DOWN.  83 DAYS TO GO.  SO FAR, 7 FEAST DAYS AND 2 FAST DAYS.

I made a few charts to track my progress.  The orange lines are my goals. The blue lines are my actual results.  The last chart is a little heat map to show at a glance how often I actually have to fast to achieve the results I am after.

(click charts to enlarge)

 

This is a personal challenge just for me, but if anyone reading would like to join me, please talk to your doctor and make sure that it will not conflict with your current medical condition or medications.  If you are taking the challenge, please be sure to let me know how you are doing!  Thanks for reading!

To find out more about this challenge - the rules and how it started - click here.

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DAY 12 2016 WEIGHT LOSS AND BLOOD GLUCOSE CHALLENGE

Christmas Eve 2015

Today is Day 12.

Weight goal - 151.8 or lower
Actual weight - 147.6

Blood glucose goal - 89 or lower
Actual blood glucose - 68

Today is a Feast Day!


For me, that means a ketogenic diet - high fat, moderate protein and very low carb.  Each day, I will weigh in, check my fasting blood glucose, find out if I will feast or fast that day, update my chart and post it here on the big blog. Im posting it to motivate myself not to give up, and if I think that anyone is looking at this, it will help to keep me accountable.

Yesterday, I had coffee and chai sweetened with Stevia, and water.  It was so cold outside that Bill and I took the day off and sat by the fire, watched movies and surfed the web.  Fasting was pretty easy yesterday, even with smelling the food that Bill fixed for himself!

11 DAYS DOWN.  80 DAYS TO GO.  9 FEAST DAYS AND 3 FAST DAYS.

6.4 POUNDS GONE.  11.6 POUNDS TO GO.  36% OF THE WAY TO MY GOAL!

I made a few charts to track my progress.  The orange lines are my goals. The blue lines are my actual results.  The last chart is a little heat map to show at a glance how often I actually have had to fast to achieve the results I am after.

(click on chart to enlarge)

 

This is a personal challenge just for me, but if anyone reading would like to join me, please talk to your doctor and make sure that it will not conflict with your current medical condition or medications.  If you are taking the challenge, please be sure to let me know how you are doing!  Thanks for reading!

To find out more about this challenge - the rules and how it started - click here.

Read More..