You Are Beautiful How to Build Confidence

I am 22 years old and if I had to guess, Id say that Ive spent about 18 years of my 22 years trying to be

beautiful.

When we are young we start out putting on our mothers lip gloss. Then we start picking out our own clothes. We keenly listen to the way our mother talks about how she looks.  We start making friends and comparing things like hair, skin color, clothes, and shoes.  All before the age of 5, weve constructed in our minds our very first impression of beauty. Its still very fragile and impressionable. As we get older it is influenced by friends, family, and the media. THE MEDIA (here goes another woman talking about how the media is ruining the confidence of women, right? Yeah roll your eyes if you want, but you bet your sweet, probably not so perfectly shaped butt, thats what this is).

Im on a quest to define beauty. My definition doesnt follow the standards set by television, music or the fashion industry because if thats all there is to beauty...I am not beautiful. And seriously, if thats what beauty is, then I would venture to guess that there are very few in this world who are considered beautiful.

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And sure, the few women who do meet those standards are beautiful in their own respects, but being beautiful is more than an image. Its more than looks and size and color. I think that there are many aspects of a person that make them beautiful. I think looks are a small portion of that, but I also think that beauty takes into account how you talk about yourself, how you treat yourself, how you treat others, your talents, your ability to believe in yourself when no one else does, and your ability to be confident even if one of those other aspects falls a bit short according to societys standards.

Lets take a minute to reflect on you. Yes, YOU! If youre struggling to find beauty within yourself I want you to ask yourself a few things, but first, put your physical appearance out of your mind and if at any point you start to compare yourself to another person, start your thought over and ignore the temptation to compare. Seriously, we are doing this RIGHT NOW.
What are you good at?
Was there ever a time where you did better at something than you thought you could? Those small victories are actually big reasons to feel confident. You accomplished those things because you are a mighty person, and you can do hard things.
Now think about your personality.
What are some things about your personality that you feel confident about?
Are you a good friend?
Are you loyal?
Are you caring?
Are you hard working?
Are you driven?
Are you smart?
Are you independent?
Are you positive?
Are you kind?
In this moment you are an amazing individual.You are beautiful. You have talents, you have strengths, and you have experiences that you should feel proud of. You are more than what is in the mirror, you are an individual with a soul. Your thoughts and actions can literally change the world so dont get hung up on a gray hair, or a zit, or a fat roll.

Now that you know what you are good at, how can you channel those strengths to get better at some of the weaknesses that are making you feel insecure? This is a tough question I realize. However, I have learned that while its important to feel confident where you are, its also important to feel confident that you can be what you want to be as well.  Think of it this way, "I love who I am, and because I love who I am I deserve to be my best. Sometimes I think things or feel things that prevent me from being my best. So I am dedicating myself to changing those thoughts and feelings. I am becoming better to one day be my best." So, what can you work on to be a little bit better and little closer to your best?

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By regularly asking myself the kinds of questions listed above, I have improved my confidence. Instead of depending on other people to make me feel worthy and valuable, I know that I am worthy and valuable because I can literally name a handful of things that I rock at.

Its taken me a long time to find beauty in my qualities and strengths.  I am still working on changing some of my negative thoughts and feelings into positive, motivating self encouragement. Each day I have to rededicate myself to ignoring societies definition of beautiful and keep working on my own. My definition of beauty is confidence, and confidence is a feeling, not a look. By acknowledging all the things I am good at in my moments of insecurity, I move past self-pity, I move past self-loathing, and I feel beautiful.

I probably wont ever be a size two with awesomely tan skin and a super nice butt, and thats OK. At the end of the day I realize that I have so much more to offer myself and the world than just looking hot.

Whats your definition of beauty?

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Life Update Balancing Life for Better Health

Life has this way of pulling you into chaos. When this happens, you hang on for dear life and pray you make it through.

Ive realized lately that I havent been very personal on here lately, mostly because Ive had some big things to handle recently and I tend to withdraw from friends, family, and readers when that happens.

Whenever I feel stressed, its usually because there is an imbalance in my life. My physical, mental, and emotional health are all very important to me. Usually when something goes amiss in one of those aspects, the other ones fall apart too. You cannot be healthy if any of those things are lacking. Its no surprise that as I started to get overwhelmed, I started to put on a few pounds here and there. Im not yet where I want to be because Ive been neglecting myself, and so I have made it a goal to refocus myself in every aspect of my life. So, just to catch everyone up... Heres what Im working on:

Physical

FitBit Fun! I got a fit bit a few weeks ago and its been so fun competing with my friends to get all my 10,000 steps in. :) I got the FitBit Zip on sale at Best Buy and its been an interesting challenge trying to move more on days when Im not scheduled to run! Each day I have the goal to hit 10,000 steps.

Speaking of Running... Last month I did phenomenal with my running. Each week I set up a schedule on Mondays and would make sure I stuck to that schedule. Three weeks ago, I finished a run and was having a really hard time breathing. A day later it was much worse and I went into see a doctor after having a really bad panic attack that led to a fit of coughing that I was not able to catch my breath from. I was having chest pain and felt terrible. Turned out I had a breathing virus causing inflammation in my lungs, and a fever of 103! I did a breathing treatment, was put on steroids and an inhaler, and told I needed to take a little break from running. That little break turned into about two weeks. The first week doctors orders, the second week being terrified that I wouldnt be able to finish a run without having an asthma attack. This week I am putting that fear aside and going for a good run tonight! :) My goal is to get my mileage up to 15 miles per week with my average mile time being 10:30. Im not a very fast runner, but I am enjoying celebrating the little victories of getting my mileage up and my pace down! Im also working toward increasing my long runs to 6.2 miles. Once I have my mileage up, Im going to work on my speed. Id like to be able to run a mile and a half in 11:56. 

As far as my diet goes, I am trying to cut out all candy this week. I am also trying to stick to 1300 calories M-F, 1500 calories Sat & Sun.. My focus is on eating balanced meals. Low carb during the week, and still being mindful during the weekends, trying to only eat whole grains. Woohoo. Ive been trying to take my focus off the number on the scale and instead focus on how well Im sticking to the goals above. If I do all these things above, I know my weight will be fine.

Mental

I am trying to take control of my life by taking control of my thoughts. I realized that Ive lost sight of some of the things I really enjoy just because Ive been too unmotivated to put the effort into keeping up with them. One of my goals to improve my mental healthy is to things that I dont want to do if I know they will improve or contribute to my life. So that pile of laundry that is sitting in my room, Im going to fold it. And that blog Ive been wanting to start, Im going to start it. That phone call Ive been needing to make, Im going to make it. Those articles and documentaries Ive been meaning to read, Im going to read them. One of my greatest fears in life is becoming stagnant. I dont want to settle. I want to progress. Progressing means overcoming yourself mentally and learning to push through the lazy thoughts that are holding you back. And thats exactly what I plan to do.

Emotional

Emotionally, Ive been having a difficult time. Going through a breakup basically destroys your confidence, then add all the other pressures of life onto that, and it becomes really easy to feel negative. Emotionally, Im trying to come to terms with the fact that being alone doesnt mean you have to feel lonely. My happiness is not dependent upon another person. Ive made a goal to be productive with my alone time instead of trying to escape it by making plans, spending all night on social media. Im also working on serving others to feel more confident about myself. I know that I have a lot to offer this world, and that thought is empowering, but if I never take opportunities to help others, I dont feel like Im living up to my full potential.

Remember that no matter how hectic your life gets, you still are capable of rising above all of the things that try to hold you down. Your life is in your hands. Your happiness is solely dependent upon how you react to situations. Are you going to be a victim in the your own story? Or are you going to be a hero? Its your choice. Ive made mine.

What are some of your goals?

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