Tampilkan postingan dengan label phone. Tampilkan semua postingan
Tampilkan postingan dengan label phone. Tampilkan semua postingan

Minggu, 13 Maret 2016

Not really a new one, but I am using Barrys cell phone.  It has sat practically unused since his death, gathering dust in my nightstand drawer.  

Since my blackberry was about to die, and I kept getting error messages, I knew I had to get a new phone, or else switch.  I really didnt feel like spending the $100 on a new blackberry when the one I had in my drawer was next to new.  We got these phones in August of 2009, and Barry used it for only 6 weeks before he died.  I had it on for the month of October, and then I had it deactivated.

I wanted to keep his phone the way it was, but really, what good is it doing just sitting there? It is practically brand new, has barely been used, and I needed a new phone.  So yesterday I made the switch, and put all my stuff on his phone and re-activated it.  It felt kind of strange though, I completely wiped everything of his off the phone and made it my own.

Is that wrong of me? I felt a little guilty doing it, like I should have saved it as is for posteritys sake.  As I was talking to the Verizon agent on the phone as she walked me through everything, I told her he would say to me "just use it already, its going to waste".  So I did.  And saved myself $100 in the process.  Plus, my contract with Verizon hasnt been renewed and I can cancel anytime I want.  Not that I will, because I am quite happy with them, but its nice knowing that I can if I want.

I know its only a cell phone, but it took me a  year and a half to do this.  What does it mean for me? That I am one step closer to healing? Kind of silly if you think about it I guess.

Its just a damn phone, and I needed one.
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Minggu, 28 Februari 2016

Ive always been interested in photography from a young age.  When I was 12, my parents bought me my first camera for Christmas, which I had for years.  Ive had various cameras since then, and a few years ago finally got a good digital camera.  That was my Canon SD1000 Power Shot.

I had bugged Barry for years because I always wanted a DSLR, but he would never let me spend the money on one.  It irritated me to no avail, so the first thing I bought when he died was a Canon Rebel XS DSLR camera, which I absolutely loved.  I felt like such a rebel when I did that.  I had that camera until this past February, when I was at Best Buy with my dad, and traded in that one for the newest Canon EOS 60D.  My dad paid me for my Rebel, and I used that to help pay for this camera.

Since Ive had the DSLRs, Ive fooled around with photography, and have taken some really amazing photos.  I had a friend over a few weeks ago, and snapped this photo of her 6 month old son.

Ive gotten some really great feedback on the photo, and was just nominated for Photo of The Week on JPGMag.com.  Even if I dont get photo of the week, I feel such a sense of accomplishment.  I am proud of myself for taking such a great photo.  I absolutely LOVE it!

If you dont mind, take a peek at the photo and vote if you can :) Id really appreciate it, even if you have to become a member, I would be really happy if you could.

Thanks so much everyone!!
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Jumat, 05 Februari 2016

I finally dreamed about Barry last night, which seemed to be the first time in forever.  Ive never really dreamed of him, just bits and pieces.  It has never been a full length movie-like dream.

In my dream my life was just like it is now.  I was either sitting at my desk reading the news online, or reading a newspaper, and I saw a title that shocked and intrigued me, so I read further.  It said "Man found hiding out in Shelton".  Immediately my eyes were drawn to the article, and it turns out it was Barry.  Who was supposed to be dead.  I dont remember much after that, but in my dream I did see him again.  I remember feeling numb.  I wasnt happy, or sad, or anything really.  I do remember telling him he couldnt sleep in my bed anymore.

And then my alarm went off.

What a bizarre dream!!  Honestly, I dont even know what to make of that because it was so strange.  Why would I dream that?

I do think though, that I am glad I havent had those really intense dreams where you remember everything about it in the morning.  Having one of those would be too painful for me, because I would get to see him, and talk to him, and touch him in my dreams.  And then upon waking up, it would be like a dagger stuck in my heart, because Id wake up to the cruel reality that he is no longer here.  I really do prefer not dreaming about him.
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