Should I Allow Myself a Cheat Meal

If youve been sticking to a strict diet for a long period of time, you might be toying with the idea of taking a

day off. In the health and wellness world, this is commonly referred to as having a cheat meal or a free meal. There are benefits to having cheat meals. Mentally, cheat meals are a good break. Cheat meals can also help you develop healthier attitudes towards food by showing you that one bad meal wont completely destroy your progress. Before you jump off your routine and into a day of indulgence, you should know that cheat meals arent for everyone. Heres what you need to know about cheat meals.

What is a Cheat Meal

When we think of cheat meals, we typically thinking of indulging in foods that we normally wouldnt eat. But theres more to a cheat meal than eating whatever you want. A cheat meal needs to be three things: planned, portioned, and practical.

Planned - Cheat meals dont happen because you accidentally messed up. Cheat meals are meals you planned for and have looked forward to. Planning you cheat meals ahead of time gives you something to look forward to.

Portioned - While cheat meals are an opportunity to eat foods that you normally wouldnt, they arent an excuse to binge. Dont eat a whole bag of chips, eat a small bowl full. Dont eat multiple full-size entrees, pick a sampler and have a little bit of everything. You can still enjoy yourself without over eating.

Practical - You should go into a cheat meal knowing your restrictions and knowing that it might be tough getting back on track the next day. Allowing yourself a cheat meal isnt permission to eat everything youve been craving all at once. Cheat meals are only successful if you understand that it is a temporary break from thinking about your diet regimen. That break ends as soon as your cheat meal does.

Should You Allow Yourself a Cheat Meal?

So how do you know if a cheat day is for you? Well that depends on how you answer the next question: Are you a binge eater? If you answered no, then you definitely should give the cheat meal a try if you are trying to vary your eating program. Many people follow the 80/20 rule. Which means that they stick to their program 80 percent of the time and then the other 20 percent they allow themselves to eat more liberally. So to put this in perspective, if you eat 3 meals per day, 21 meals per week, you should be eating 17 of those meals following your program, and allow yourself 4 meals of food you dont normally eat. 

 Now, if you answered yes to my earlier question about binge eating, then I recommend being extremely careful before you let yourself have a cheat day. If you have a hard time controlling your portions when you have a free day, or if having more options is a trigger for binge eating, cheat meals will not be in the best interest of your or your program. One cheat meal wont set you back, but if having a cheat meal triggers a 3 day binge, it will set you back and its not worth it. Recovering from a binge takes a lot out of you mentally and emotionally. If your past experiences with food have left you feeling out of control or a little bit crazy for food, youll want to stick to your routine as much as possible. 

Ultimately the decisions of having a cheat meal is up to you. From personal experience I know that one cheat meal usually turns into a binge, Thats the type of eater I am. I have a hard time eating indulgent foods in limited quantities. Being able to recognize that helps me realize that I will be successful doing the things that help me feel focused and in control.

Do you allow yourself cheat meals? 

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I CAN Do It MYSELF

I know Ive been promising this post for awhile. I dont have time to write it, but Im making time.

Through ten years of marriage, I became quite dependant on Barry. He was always the one I relied on, we always discussed major decisions and I probably was a bit too dependent. I know that now, and I knew that then too, but oh well, it was me! That was me for the longest time, and now Ive had to forge a new me.

This new me has been FORCED to become independent. There is no one else to rely on but myself. And I hate it. I despise it. I abhor being the responsible one. I dislike having to make all the major decisions. I hate this aspect of widowhood with a passion. I have made so many decisions in the last almost 5 months that I have become overwhelmed.

To add insult to injury, many things have gone wrong too, which just adds to me having to do things on my own. Like with my van. In the last couple weeks, Ive had an alignment done, the door actuators fixed, an oil change, the tires rotated, and now replaced, brakes fixed, a radiator leak fixed, and the rear bumper replaced because someone hit me. Ive grown tired of seeing my friends at Midas. Today should be the last day, my tires are getting replaced as the tread on them is pretty low. But, the van has had those tires since before we bought it three years ago, so I suppose its time to do it anyway.

But you know, I CAN do it all by MYSELF. I dont like it, but I can and am doing it. Ive bought a house on my own too! Ive handled all the van repairs on my own. Ive filled out countless forms for life insurance and death certificates. I planned the funeral and wrote the obituary (with some help I might add) and even spoke at Barrys funeral by myself.

Ive also outfitted an entire house by myself. This house stuff though has been the most stressful I think. Just the simple act of purchasing furniture has had my head spinning in all different directions. On tuesday at the furniture store, I really started to shut down towards the end. I couldnt do it anymore. I was able to pick out furniture for my living room, my bedroom, and the great room. But I spent a good 4 hours in the Macys store! Thats all done though, finally. Wednesday afternoon I went to another store and picked out my book shelves and TV stand, and a clock. I could feel myself shutting down again though, so I decided enough was enough and left. Tomorrow the kids and I are going back there to pick out V and Es beds and dressers, and As dresser, and my computer desk. After that, we will head to Sleep Country to get mine and V and Es mattresses. I still have to get minor things like dishes and some decor items, but the major stuff is done...except for a Piano. That can wait. Today I even picked out all my blinds for the new house, by MYSELF. I didnt even have my Realtor help, haha. I made all the decisions with the vendor, by MYSELF. Can I share a secret though? if I could, I would have hired an interior decorator/design person to do it all for me.

I can pack an entire house by myself. I can move into a new house by myself. I can pick out furniture and bedding and all that by myself. I can handle van repairs by myself. I can de-clutter a house by myself. I can make all the important decisions, like the kids changing schools, and where A will go to pre-school by myself. I can decide that its not a good idea for us to go to DC/PA, but that it is a good idea for us to go to Disneyland, by myself. And I can go to a movie tonight by myself...first time for everything, right?

I have often found myself wondering what would Barry think of all this? Would he like the decisions Ive made, would he like what I have picked out? But then I have to remind myself that while I value his opinion, hes dead. Hes not here anymore, and I cant constantly base my decisions on what he would have done. Im alone now, and though hes with me in my heart, and in my mind, hes not here in person for me to rely on. I cant ask him what he thinks of this piece of furniture, or that one, or what bed to get the girls, what tires I should get on the van, Ive had to do it by myself. Its a bit freeing though, to be completely honest, knowing that I CAN pick and choose what I want and not worry if he would like it or not. I had all these ideas of what I wanted to buy for my new house, the colors and all that stuff too, and when I went to pick it out, I went completely opposite of what I had in mind. Its so different from what we would have picked out together, but I think thats good in a way. Most of our stuff is being replaced, but the one piece I am keeping in the house, which doesnt even match my new kitchen all that well, is the table and chairs we bought a year ago. He and M put it together, and while it doesnt match my cabinets, that doesnt matter...he put it together. His hands pieced it together with the help of our son, and it will stay in my kitchen as our family table for a very long time.

Barry would be proud of me, proud of all the decisions Ive made on my own. He would say "I knew you could do it Joanna, and I am so proud of you! I always told you you could do it on your own, you never needed me to make all the decisions".

Ill tell you though, I am amazed that I have done it all by myself. Ive wanted to crawl into a ball and rock myself sometimes due to all the stress, but I havent. I will keep on keepin on, and get through this. Things will settle down eventually, the stress will dissipate and I will continue to do things on my own. I will develop a stronger skin, I will become even more independent than I already am, and I will get through it.

One day at a time, I can do it by myself.

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Low Carb Thai Stir Fry With Chicken and Shrimp

I dont know what my deal is, but Ive been craving Thai food like CRAZY lately. Oh the carbs. I love massaman, and panang, and pad thai, and this week I was determined to find a yummy protein and veggie packed recipe with some thai flavor. I ditched the rice and noodles and stuck with Spaghetti Squash. <3 Good ol squash. :) Check it out fellow fit-meal foodies.

Ingredients 

1 pound Boneless skinless chicken breast
1 pound shrimp, pre-cooked and deveined
garlic powder, to taste
onion powder, to taste
1 large spaghetti squash
1 red bell pepper, diced
2 carrots, shredded
1 bunch green onions, diced
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/4 cup cilantro

Sauce
1/4 cup low fat, low sodium chicken broth
1/4 cup rice vinegar
1 fresh lime, squeezed
3 tablespoons honey
1/4 cup Tamari*
1 teaspoon sesame oil
1/4 teaspoon pepper

Cut spaghetti squash in half longways. Remove seeds and pulp. Fill a glass casserole dish with an inch of water. Place spaghetti squash middles down in the dish and microwave for 15 minutes, or bake on 350 for 45 minutes.

While squash cooks, chop chicken and cook in chicken broth and season with garlic powder and onion powder in a LARGE skillet. When chicken is mostly done, add in shrimp. Cook until chicken is done and shrimp is thawed.

While the chicken and shrimp are cooking, combine sauce ingredients in a sauce pan and heat on low heat (it does not need to boil.)

Add the red pepper, carrots, onion, garlic and cilantro to the chicken and shrimp mixture.

Once the squash is done, use a fork to scrape it out of its skin and into a large bowl. Add meat and veggie mixture, top with sauce. Mix together and enjoy!

This recipe makes about eight 1 cup servings.
Each serving has 257 calories, 31 grams protein, 16 net carbs

*If youre watching your sodium, use low sodium Tamari.

This recipe was adapted from Hello Healthy.

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Well We Did It

It is so incredibly hard to believe that five months have already passed since we said goodbye to my husband, my best friend, the kids daddy. Five long months.

Five months ago I never thought I would get through these five months. I was prepared for it to be the worst five months of my life, and it most certainly was. You see, from October through till March, we have most of the important dates for our family. I desperately wish I could include Es birthday in this timeline, but unfortunately her actual birthday was two days before he died, so we have to overcome that hurdle yet.

The day he died was Es birthday party. After that we had Halloween, which is a FAVORITE family holiday. Then we had Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving in itself has not always had a big emphasis in our family, but this past thanksgiving was exceptionally hard. My very good friend Rebecca invited us over to her home, and while I love and appreciate her, it was so hard to see all the married ladies there. It was just us girls, but I was the only official "single" one, and all their husbands were deployed. So it was a very hard day for me. Then came Christmas, which I dont even want to talk about. Our Anniversary was December 29th, and that day was OK. It was sad most definitely, but not as bad as I thought it would be. The next hardest day, probably one of the hardest days for me, was New Years Eve. I remember how hard it was for me, leaving him behind in 2009 and starting 2010 without him, and I desperately did NOT want the new year to start. On the other hand, I wanted New Years Eve to pass as quickly as possible because I was just tired of the day...it dragged on and on and on.

After that, we had a bit of a reprieve in January, thankfully, and that was when I really started scheduling myself and making sure I was busy all the time. I actually burnt myself out. And though we had a reprieve from bad days in January, I had a really rough month emotionally, physically and mentally. Ive heard mixed opinions on how rough the 3d month is, and it really was for me. February 7th brought us the twins birthdays, thankfully the only day that month that we had a sort of "anniversary.

And now we have March. March, like October and December, will always be one of our hardest months. March 2nd was the day we lost my Opa in 1997, and I think of him often. How much i have wished that he could have met Barry and the kids. March 6th is Barrys birthday, and March 7th is my sister and our youngest daughters birthday. Thankfully after tomorrow, we will have passed through the first five months of agony.

I have come so far in five months, further than I thought I ever would. I have become so much more independent than I thought, so much so that I have trouble asking for help now. But I am still desperately grieving, and desperately missing Barry every day. My mom sent me a letter and I read it today and cried. She wrote about the day that A was born and how gentle he was the first night, and first few days, and I cried and cried and cried. Memories are so hard, I try so hard not to remember sometimes because its so hard.

I am glad that I can proudly say that I DID IT! I made it through the first 5 months, and accomplished that which I never thought I would. And right now we have so much to look forward to in the next couple months with our new house and house warming party. I am so excited for this new house, new things. New memories, new beginnings and a new start.

I still miss you Barry, and I will see you in my dreams. Ill love you forever and always.

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