Disneyland But Later

Everyone and their dog knows I am planning on taking the kids to Disneyland, right?

My original plan was to go soon, and I was planning on late March or early April. But unfortunately I think I have bitten off more than I can chew, and I cant handle planning that right now.

Right now I am in the middle of looking for houses, and even put an offer on one yesterday! House shopping is very time consuming, so I have been super busy with that. Plus I have a few other obligations I cant get out of, so I just figured that Disney can wait.

The time I am shooting for is October of this year. I know that is 10 months away, but honestly, I think it would be easier for us to go then. It will be one year then, and to have us all distracted, and having fun and laughing, will be what Barry would have wanted. Rather than us sitting at home being depressed, and missing him, we will be out having fun and enjoying ourselves. Celebrating his life, and how much of a wonderful and loving daddy, husband and friend he was.

Sorry for not blogging often, I really have been so busy that I havent felt like sitting down to write. But rest assured, my first "A Year of Memories" post will be coming up soon! And if I get the house I put an offer on, I will post that information too. I cant wait to share it all with you!

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Ive Been MIA

Well people I have been taking a break from blogging.

I have lost my inspiration lately, to be completely honest.

The past week was extremely hard for me, very emotional. Lots of firsts.

Heres what I did for the FIRST time by myself this week without Barry.

• Cooked a Turkey (he ALWAYS did this)
• Read The Night Before Christmas to the kids (again, his tradition)
• Put up the Christmas presents by myself, well, with the help of my bro and sis, but he always helped with this
• Barely persevered through our first Christmas without him.
  
• Made our traditional Christmas morning breakfast of homemade egg ham and cheese McMuffins
  

I am so glad I NEVER have to relive that week again. Everyone says the first time is always the hardest, and it really really is. I had all these grand plans to do everything the same as we ALWAYS did it. But I didnt do anything the same. Everything was different this year. Heres what I did DIFFERENT:

• I cooked the Turkey and it turned out freakin awesome! lol
• We did stockings on the 26th instead of Christmas morning
• Skipped out on all the baking. No no bakes this year or ANYTHING. Not even Barrys traditional trans-gender gingerbread man with boy and girl bits! HAHAHA
  
• No Gingerbread house
• No stuffing or rolls for xmas dinner because I forgot to buy it

Now the next big hurdle is our anniversary. I am dreading the 29th. Abso-fucking-lutely dreading it. I want to sleep through it. Why does it have to be this day? WHY must I have an anniversary so close to Christmas? This is going to be the 3d step of many, for the next few months of firsts that we will do without Barry. First we had Thanksgiving, then Christmas...then the anniversary. Then New Years Eve. And then in February we have the twins 9th birthdays, and then in March we have his and As birthdays only one day apart.

Then we get a reprieve for almost 3 months until May 1st comes along. That was a special day for our family, we always celebrate May Day and do something fun. Last year we took the kids to the Zoo in Seattle. Not quite sure what I will do with them in May, but I will be doing something fun. And then comes along my birthday in July, and finally Es birthday in October. Technically shes already had her birthday without him, because he was in the hospital and then died the day of her party, but it will still be a hurdle to pass.

I think the next few months will be the hardest for us, but you know what? Well get through it.

This too shall pass.

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