Four Days And Counting

Well, moving day is certainly creeping up on me, were at four days and counting till the BIG DAY!!

It kind of hit the kids and I this morning at breakfast. Suddenly there was excitement in the air at breakfast, little whispers and squeals about moving in four days. Questions about when their beds would be taken apart, and how would we pack all the rest of the stuff. I really have confidence that the packing will be done by Friday morning. There isnt that much left at all to do, especially since I have thrown away SO much stuff. I have filled up our household size dumpster 3 times. Yes, you read that right, THREE times! I still have it and will keep it for another couple weeks because there will be residual stuff left here, including some dressers I have to demolish yet.

I cant believe that this journey I started back in January is almost done. This house was the 2nd house I looked at, but I didnt want to put an offer on it because I was set on having bigger bedrooms. But after many failed showings, the houses just not being right for us, my realtor surprised me Feb 11th and brought us back one time. I was feeling defeated at this point, as a house I had put an offer on had fallen through because the seller filed bankruptcy, so when we went to look at it again, I put an offer on it. The offer was accepted and the house was mine on February 12th. And now I am so incredibly excited. This gorgeous house is mine, I can call it mine and do what I want to it.

Tomorrow starts the flurry of deliveries and appointments. I am so excited to see all the stuff I bought put into their rightful spots, and I most certainly can NOT wait to show pictures of everything!! I have deliveries scheduled for Tuesday, Wednesday, and Saturday. We are all so excited to have our stuff in the house.

I am a little afraid of Thursday night. It will be our very last night sleeping in this house, the very same way Barry left it...despite all the chaos with boxes in it. There will never be another night in this house again, never another night with my bed set up the way he did it. As much as I dont like living here, I will miss it because it was our last home with Barry. I know this wouldnt be a forever home, as it is older and just a rental, we would have moved eventually regardless of what happened (as we were planning on moving to PA this summer), but it is still going to be an emotional time for us. I dont know if it will hit me so much on Thursday, but perhaps Thursday night as I lay down. And most definitely Friday when the movers take away everything. Whats funny is that the house wont even be empty when the movers leave, as I have Habitat for Humanity coming next Wednesday to pick up all the old furniture. Perhaps it will really hit me on Friday night as I lay down for the first night in my new house, but only time will tell.

Honestly, my biggest fear is that he wont come with us to the new house. I am scared I wont feel his presence there, surrounding us with his love. I can feel him here from time to time, I know hes watching over us. I just want him to come with us, to move to the new house with us. Or perhaps hell haunt and terrorize the new tenants...hahaha. Thats so him too ;-) I really do just want him to come with us, and help make our new home a peaceful home as well.

Back to packing!

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Were Moved In!

As I write this post, I am sitting here at my new desk, with a red face from crying, tears running down my face and a drippy nose. I just got an email from an old family friend and it made me fall to pieces.

I want to write a really good "Hello New House" blog post, but Im not quite sure I can yet, I want to get used to the house first. But rest assured, we are adjusting well. The kids are in heaven here, as we live in a cul-de-sac, and there is a boy across the "curve" lol that is the same age as my son. They played together all day yesterday. The street is so incredibly quiet, and safe, and I can easily send the kids outside and not worry about where they are. Plus we have two dirt lots on either side that havent been built on yet, so the kids are having a fun time exploring in the dirt, rocks and seeing the various ducks that come by. They can ride their bikes as well without getting into trouble. We will be very happy here, I can see that already.

On Friday morning, the movers came at 9AM and were finally done at 2PM. They did a great job and I was very impressed with them, so it was very very much worth the cost to pay them rather than ask people to help me. I had about an hour to myself, and then at 3PM I had more friends come over off and on and, and then we had people in the house all day till 10PM! I wont name names, but I couldnt have done it without the help of all my friends that really chipped in. On Thursday I was also blessed to have six other friends of mine come and help me with last minute packing and cleaning. I still have a lot of cleaning to do at the old house, and there is furniture there that is being picked up and donated this week, but the house is empty save for that stuff. I had to laugh a bit because EVERY time Barry and I moved together, we were NEVER EVER ready to go on moving day. Never. And guess what? I was ready to go Friday morning, everything was packed and labeled, and the movers got right to work. So TAKE THAT Barry! lol

I am still not used to this place, it feels like I am living in someone elses house. The new furniture is especially disorienting, as we have none of our familiar stuff except our kitchen table and chairs. Last night it took me awhile to fall asleep in my new bed (mattresses were delivered yesterday!) because it was so new. I was sleeping in a new bed, on new mattresses, new pillows and with brand new bedding. I wonder if I feel this way because Barry was never here. And perhaps that is a good feeling in some ways, because we dont have the constant reminders of him around every corner. This house just feels "different", it has a different aura about it...I can sense it, but I dont know what it is. I am sure it will just take us time to adjust and become comfortable in our surroundings and then it will all be good.

Early early this morning it hit me when I realized what the date was. April 4th. Check out this post I wrote October 5th. Little did I know that when I wrote about losing my best friend, I actually would just a mere 5 days later.

It is exactly six months ago that Barry came home for the very last time alive. It was a Sunday too. October 4th he came home about 6PM, and we watched as he pulled his Kenworth into the driveway. He didnt come out of the truck to see the kids because he didnt want to get them sick. So the last time the kids saw their daddy alive was on the evening of October 4th as he waved to them from the cab of his truck. Shortly after that, my friend Sara came over and watched them for me, as I brought him to the ER from which he would never return. Six months that we have been having a real live nightmare.

And all I can do is sigh.

To celebrate our new home, I am making a VERY un-traditional Easter dinner as our first
official meal here. Im actually making Barrys famous spaghetti. I havent been able to make that since before he died, so we havent eaten it in probably close to 8 months if not longer. Weve had spaghetti once since, that a friend brought over, but I just havent had the courage to do it. He made the absolute best spaghetti, nothing topped it. And now I am carrying on his legacy by making it. Im looking forward to eating his spaghetti actually!

I hope everyone has a Happy Easter! I am overloaded with Cadbury creme eggs, as my kids have decided the dont like them anymore! And in Barrys words..."Communists!"

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